Coconut Invasion: Shooter

At 03:17, lunar radar spotted a coconut in space. At 03:18, everyone laughed. At 03:19, it shot the Moon. The Coconut Empire has mistaken Earth's oceans for premium coconut water, and they are coming with a very large straw. You are the entire defence: one starfighter, an alarming number of lasers, and no reinforcements. DRAG TO FLY One thumb, anywhere on the screen. Your ship rides above your finger so it is never hidden, and the guns fire themselves. Staying alive is the whole job. ENDLESS COCONUT WAVES Difficulty climbs and never stops. Scouts dive, gunners hold position and shoot where you are going, splitters break apart when you crack them. There is only how long Earth lasts. THREE BOSSES, EVERY FIFTH WAVE The Coconut Emperor. The Nut Mother, which blooms swarms out of its own shell. The Hard Shell, whose rotating armour you have to read before you can hurt it. Each one has three phases and gets worse at every one. TEN OFFICERS WITH OPINIONS Before every boss, an Empire officer opens a channel to explain how doomed you are. They are threatening. They are not good at it. "Surrender your oceans. We only want the wet part." FIVE STARFIGHTERS Sky Peeler, Straw One, Husk Buster, Milk Run, Nutcracker - earned by your best score. They change how you look, never how you fly: identical speed, fire rate and hit box, so there is no wrong pick and nothing is locked behind a purchase. ONE PAYMENT Two free sorties, then unlock the game once and keep it. No subscription. No ads. No second purchase. No energy timers. NOTHING COLLECTED No analytics, no tracking, no advertising, no account, and no network requests of the game's own. Your scores, statistics and settings live on your device and are never sent anywhere. The only network activity is the App Store purchase itself, which Apple handles - we never see it. Requires iPhone with iOS 17 or later. Portrait, one-handed, offline.