This Game Hates You

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Do not download The Game That Hates You. We mean it. Mostly. Kind of. Look — if you’re still reading, that’s already a bad sign. Something here will disagree with you. Something else will smile while it does. There may be “help.” There may be a button labeled Play. Treat both with suspicion. You will press things. Things will press back. Progress is a rumor. Victory is a rumor with better lighting. If you like apps that hold your hand: leave. If you like apps that hide the hand and then roast you for looking: stay. No cozy vibes. No gentle tutorials. No emotional support mascot. Just you, a bad attitude, and a little mystery about who is actually playing whom. Still here? Fine. Download it. Get roasted. Maybe learn something. Probably not. We’re already judging you.Read more

Do not download The Game That Hates You. We mean it. Mostly. Kind of. Look — if you’re still reading, that’s already a bad sign. Something here will disagree with you. Something else will smile while it does. There may be “help.” There may be a button labeled Play. Treat both with suspicion. You will press things. Things will press back. Progress is a rumor. Victory is a rumor with better lighting. If you like apps that hold your hand: leave. If you like apps that hide the hand and then roast you for looking: stay. No cozy vibes. No gentle tutorials. No emotional support mascot. Just you, a bad attitude, and a little mystery about who is actually playing whom. Still here? Fine. Download it. Get roasted. Maybe learn something. Probably not. We’re already judging you.